Recurring dream

Note: The following is my comment regarding a recurring dream described by a social media user. The dream had persisted for more than 25 years, following his breakup with the woman depicted in the dream. The dreamer had not been in contact with her in real life since their breakup 25 years ago; however, up until recently, his old feelings and desires for her resurfaced during each recurring instance of the dream.

This is a very long duration for the recurrence of a dream, and he was wondering if something remained unresolved regarding this past relationship, and if it could be finally resolved.

My comment: The first and most difficult step, is to determine what her dream character symbolizes for you. Keep in mind that after 25 years, the real person behind the dream character doesn’t exist anymore, not in the way you knew her 25 years ago. People and circumstances change over time. What remains is the unresolved or unconscious part of you that surfaced during the actual relationship and continues to haunt you, so to speak.

Her dream character is like a shadow or ghost that wants you to recognize “something” catalyzed by your past involvement with the “once” real woman—good or bad—or that symbolizes a wound or need that goes far deeper and older than the relationship itself, but resonates with your memory of it.

I recommend exploring this symbolic ghost through whatever means works for you—art, music, introspection, dream journaling, etc.—to understand what the dream may be depicting or asking of you.

Existential dread

Note: The following is my commentary in response to a sufferer of existential anxiety. At the time, the sufferer was experiencing a profound fear of death and an associated dread of nonexistence, which came upon him quite abruptly.

“Life is a series of passages. In every passage there is a death of some sort, the death of naïveté, the death of a dependency, the death of an understanding of self and world. And, after that death, there is often a terrible ‘in-between,’ sometimes lasting years.”
~ James Hollis

The above quote captures the essence of existential dread that you’ve described. I suggest examining what may be in transition in your life at the present time. It is possible that you are currently residing within the “in-between” state mentioned in the quote, where you’ve left one phase of your life behind, but without clarity as to the next phase and its time of arrival. It could be as simple as being between relationships, or more complex, such as leaving behind your old sense of self, but not yet having created a new sense of identity. Or it could be something spiritual, such as losing one’s faith in an old belief, without having formulated a new belief. The possibilities are endless.

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Temptation

Social media question (paraphrased):

Original sin does not make sense. Eating the fruit would have enlightened Adam and Eve as to what was good and bad. How could they have known it was bad to disobey God, before taking a bite of the fruit?

My metaphorical response:

Adam and Eve are like children, who don’t yet comprehend the consequences of not listening to one’s father. Alternatively, we could view them as naive, inexperienced adults, indifferent to an authority’s warning about a risk or potential danger. For example, without the physical experience of being burned, the warning against playing with matches often goes in one ear and out the other.

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Casual disappointment

Question: Why is casual sex so disappointing?

Answer: Because it is casual!

More often than not, the casual folks are disappointed when they don’t receive a stellar performance from their partner. There is no meaning beyond the performance, hence the emphasis on bedroom skills – a compensation for the lack of emotional intimacy.

Thus, if casual is your thing, then stock up on the Viagra, get in tip-top physical shape, and study a copy of “The Joy of Sex.” Is that still in print?