Extinction

“And after the Earth dies, some 5 billion years from now, after it is burned to a crisp or even swallowed by the Sun, there will be other worlds and stars and galaxies coming into being—and they will know nothing of a place once called Earth”
~ Carl Sagan

A sobering thought is that humanity may not last as long as the earth. We may be another species that evolves for a period of time, but meets its end for one or more reasons, such as asteroid strikes, the eruption of super volcanoes that cloud over the earth, the rise of superviruses more deadly and infectious than Covid, or irreconcilable differences resulting in a nuclear holocaust.

As things stand, the likelihood of ever acquiring the technological means and worldwide cooperation to escape such disasters and migrate mass populations to other life sustaining planets, is slim at best. Humanity may be limited to its own version of a lifetime here on earth, and making the most of this lifetime may be our most noble endeavor, with the hope that the human experiment and experience has mattered in some way, even long after we are gone and the earth ceases to exist.

Disguised divinity

“Spirituality and sexuality are not your qualities, not things you possess and encompass. Rather, they possess and encompass you, since they are powerful daimons, manifestations of the Gods, and hence reach beyond you, existing in themselves.”
~Carl Jung

There is a universal or divine force that animates all things, bringing them to life, in one form or another. Spirituality and sexuality are human manifestations of this force, among many other expressions of it.

As Carl Jung stated, we do not possess or create this force. To a limited degree, we possess our conscious response to it, but this never encompasses its full effect upon and within our lives, much of it remaining unconscious or showing up through experiences that disguise their underlying source—the universal/divine force.

Psychology and religion are an attempt to remove the disguise, to bring us into closer, conscious contact with this sacred energy or, as Jung described it, the daimons and gods that possess us. However, as with everything else, our imperfect humanity and vulnerabilities often add to the disguise.

Existential dread

Note: The following is my commentary in response to a sufferer of existential anxiety. At the time, the sufferer was experiencing a profound fear of death and an associated dread of nonexistence, which came upon him quite abruptly.

“Life is a series of passages. In every passage there is a death of some sort, the death of naïveté, the death of a dependency, the death of an understanding of self and world. And, after that death, there is often a terrible ‘in-between,’ sometimes lasting years.”
~ James Hollis

The above quote captures the essence of existential dread that you’ve described. I suggest examining what may be in transition in your life at the present time. It is possible that you are currently residing within the “in-between” state mentioned in the quote, where you’ve left one phase of your life behind, but without clarity as to the next phase and its time of arrival. It could be as simple as being between relationships, or more complex, such as leaving behind your old sense of self, but not yet having created a new sense of identity. Or it could be something spiritual, such as losing one’s faith in an old belief, without having formulated a new belief. The possibilities are endless.

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First hookup

“What we seek constantly in romantic love is not human love or human relationship alone; we also seek a religious experience, a vision of wholeness.”
~Robert A. Johnson

2:13 AM

A puttering engine whines down beach street on a frigid night. The sound of rusted struts and worn wheel bearings bouncing along frost heaves and pot holes. Headlights fluttering. Shadows of leafless winter limbs shifting and merging against the bedroom wall. He watches and listens—passively—without comprehension. Eyes half open, half shut.

An electric blanket covers him to the nostrils. Thermostat set to 60 F. A frugal man of limited means, he found this place at the dead end of Beach street, near the river’s edge, where it takes a sharp left and meets Willow avenue—another dead end and entrance to the old Jewish cemetery. He bought the property for a song. The street itself a hazard, with its heaves and holes, notorious for frozen fogs overflowing the river bank at night.

An anonymous chat, several hours earlier. She’d answered his Reddit post; an anonymous stranger. He’d baited the invitation with homemade hot chocolate on a frigid night, marshmallows too. Sex on the mind, but unstated.

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Love is not enough

Love is not enough to prevent the metaphorical Devil and his demons from cunningly and imperceptibly creeping into your relationship, destroying it bit by bit, like the sugar that rots away a tooth over time.

Keep your guard up! Don’t delude yourself into thinking that flirtation or fantasy play behind a screen is harmless. He is a predator, searching for the microscopic cracks in your loving behavior, slithering his way into them, feasting on their weak walls like a hungry termite, and making space for the others to enter and contribute to his project, which is to destroy your relationship from the inside out.