It was your neediness against her lovelessness. You reached and she held back, sometimes dangling, but never bestowing, not to where you felt bereft of loving kindness.
So many iterations of reaching versus dangling, but never the bestowing, never her surrender. Love was her commodity, her convenience, to be withheld for fun or bartered on the run.
The spiral of pain
Often, we obsessively seek love from the people who find it the most difficult to love us. Their holding back, mirrors where we feel the least loved and most needy, committing us to the long, painful, downward spiral of pursuit, seemingly without end, until at last, at the lowest point of our despondency, the spiral itself reaches its end, mercifully kicking us to the curb.
© 2022 David M. Rubin. All rights reserved.
Notes from David 