“People were hermaphrodites until God split them in two, and now all the halves wander the world over seeking one another. Love is the longing for the half of ourselves we have lost.”
~ Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
I’m reminded of the Jungian concept of men having a feminine aspect, referred to as the anima; and women having a masculine aspect, referred to as the animus. The theory being that “all” human beings are composed of both masculine and feminine essences, with one essence being the consciously dominant one in an individual, and the other being relatively unconscious, “appearing” as the qualities one desires or despises in others. In Jungian psychology, this is the basic mechanism of attraction: the recognition of the other half of ourselves in others, facilitated through projection and imagination. The illusion being that what you search for or recognize is outside of yourself, when it is really the opposite, less conscious side of your inner nature – the masculine or feminine – seeking consciousness through your interaction with others.
The great separation between the masculine and feminine, or anima and animus, is first depicted in the bible when God removes and uses Adam’s rib to create a mate for him – Eve. The separation is depicted a second time in the Garden of Eden scene, when Adam and Eve become conscious of one another’s nakedness after consuming the proverbial fruit of knowledge, which in effect creates the recognition of the other. This is the first time they recognize their “opposite natures,” the masculine or feminine, projecting and imagining them as dominant or fixed attributes of the other – Eve for Adam and Adam for Eve. This may be one of he oldest metaphors for the mechanism of desire – recognition of the other you in other people – which in Jungian theory, creates the urge to reunite the opposites within you through others, thus creating the spark of romantic fervor that initially draws you and other people together into relationships – albeit through the mental trickery of projection and imagination.
If we are to buy into this Jungian notion of anima and animus, then the above explanation and bible metaphor are oversimplifications. Masculinity and femininity have many different qualities and attributes – both positive and negative – and we tend to notice bits and pieces of these among different people, rather than collected into just one special person, otherwise known as the soulmate. Milan Kundera writes about the other half of ourselves, which we wander the world searching for. However, along the path of that search, we are more likely to run into scattered pieces of our unknown or less known selves, mirrored by a variety of people, who either repel or attract us – depending upon what we unconsciously reject or seek within ourselves. This is one reason why human relations are so complex and unpredictable.
Note: Jungian psychology, founded by Carl Jung, is a branch of psychology that recognizes both the personal and collective inner processes that propel individuals and humanity towards greater coherence and consciousness. The Jungian approach appeals to depth psychologists, philosophers, artists, writers, healers, spiritual practitioners, and anyone else having an interest in exploring the psychospiritual dimensions of our humanity.
© 2022 David M. Rubin. All rights reserved.
Notes from David 