Dystopia #1

Hey Jack,

The hospital discharged me this morning. They pushed us out, padlocked the doors, and boarded up the windows with wooden planks. I’m sitting on a cement step outside the locked facility. There’s just enough space for my frozen butt, the bitter wind whipping spits of snow at my face, hard as beach sand. I borrowed—without permission—a defunct script pad for this letter. I’ll read it whenever I locate you, whatever state of existence you’re in, dead or alive. How many years has it been? How is your mom, Mrs. Rizzo? I had a crush on her early on. You knew that, right? Sorry if you didn’t. Got into big trouble over my crushes and mother complexes, even as a kid.

So, my phone is long gone, confiscated at the start of my commitment here. My excuse for not keeping in touch. I wonder what the smart phones are like now? Doesn’t really matter. I don’t know where anyone is living or if living, nor their situation or phone number. Everything has changed.

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Comfortable illusions

“I’m filled with a desire for clarity and meaning within a world and condition that offers neither.”
~ Albert Camus

Is life an absurd, meaningless mess, as Albert Camus once suggested?

There may be an underlying pattern to the “so-called” mess, but beyond our innate ability or willingness to fully understand it. Thus, we devise comfortable ideas to alleviate our fears of not knowing or knowing too much; using religion, scientific theories, political platforms, conspiracy theories, psychotherapy, Internet memes, or whatever else personally mitigates one’s discomfort with confusion, uncertainty, and reality.

The “possible” absurdity being that ten different people observing the same mess, may spend ten years devising ten different theories about the mess, despite their unacknowledged avoidance of knowing or accepting the naked truth. Maybe even more absurd, is when they agree to disagree, as if there is an agreed upon competition in progress, and that playing by the rules—political, social, economic, religious, and scientific—is more important than following the experiential path of truth, in whatever manner it presents itself.

The competition for being RIGHT, is often the goal for many so-called truth seekers; the actual truth taking a back seat to winning the prize for being declared as RIGHT and being in the know. Inflated egos at play within a comfort hungry world, transforming the inherently meaningful into the appearance of messiness and meaninglessness, only to re-simplify and substitute it with advantageous and profitable meanings, and providing the comfortable illusion of KNOWING and being RIGHT. This may be the ultimate absurdity: selling ourselves and the world on comfortable illusions.

Extinction

“And after the Earth dies, some 5 billion years from now, after it is burned to a crisp or even swallowed by the Sun, there will be other worlds and stars and galaxies coming into being—and they will know nothing of a place once called Earth”
~ Carl Sagan

A sobering thought is that humanity may not last as long as the earth. We may be another species that evolves for a period of time, but meets its end for one or more reasons, such as asteroid strikes, the eruption of super volcanoes that cloud over the earth, the rise of superviruses more deadly and infectious than Covid, or irreconcilable differences resulting in a nuclear holocaust.

As things stand, the likelihood of ever acquiring the technological means and worldwide cooperation to escape such disasters and migrate mass populations to other life sustaining planets, is slim at best. Humanity may be limited to its own version of a lifetime here on earth, and making the most of this lifetime may be our most noble endeavor, with the hope that the human experiment and experience has mattered in some way, even long after we are gone and the earth ceases to exist.

Disguised divinity

“Spirituality and sexuality are not your qualities, not things you possess and encompass. Rather, they possess and encompass you, since they are powerful daimons, manifestations of the Gods, and hence reach beyond you, existing in themselves.”
~Carl Jung

There is a universal or divine force that animates all things, bringing them to life, in one form or another. Spirituality and sexuality are human manifestations of this force, among many other expressions of it.

As Carl Jung stated, we do not possess or create this force. To a limited degree, we possess our conscious response to it, but this never encompasses its full effect upon and within our lives, much of it remaining unconscious or showing up through experiences that disguise their underlying source—the universal/divine force.

Psychology and religion are an attempt to remove the disguise, to bring us into closer, conscious contact with this sacred energy or, as Jung described it, the daimons and gods that possess us. However, as with everything else, our imperfect humanity and vulnerabilities often add to the disguise.

Existential dread

Note: The following is my commentary in response to a sufferer of existential anxiety. At the time, the sufferer was experiencing a profound fear of death and an associated dread of nonexistence, which came upon him quite abruptly.

“Life is a series of passages. In every passage there is a death of some sort, the death of naïveté, the death of a dependency, the death of an understanding of self and world. And, after that death, there is often a terrible ‘in-between,’ sometimes lasting years.”
~ James Hollis

The above quote captures the essence of existential dread that you’ve described. I suggest examining what may be in transition in your life at the present time. It is possible that you are currently residing within the “in-between” state mentioned in the quote, where you’ve left one phase of your life behind, but without clarity as to the next phase and its time of arrival. It could be as simple as being between relationships, or more complex, such as leaving behind your old sense of self, but not yet having created a new sense of identity. Or it could be something spiritual, such as losing one’s faith in an old belief, without having formulated a new belief. The possibilities are endless.

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